6 reasons why you should let people suck your blood (NOT vampires)

I’ve been listening to Jefferson Starship and feeling nostalgic all day. 80’s music always does that to me even though I didn’t technically grow up in that particular decade, born in 1985. But I remember the song “Sara” when I was little and listening as my older brother Eric and his friends sang it to me for fun. Now that I know that the song isn’t actually about me, as I was falsely led to believe, I still like to listen to it and imagine that I am the “one that got away.” “Saaaarrraah, Saaaarrraah, storms are brewin’ in your eyes / Saaaarrraah, Saaaarrraah, no time is a good time / oh, I’ll never find another girl like you / we’re fire and ice, the dream won’t come true…” Yeah, I’m that girl, the one that got away…<sigh> I’m just so cool and elusive… What am I going to do without my manic pixie self?

Every 56 days (usually to the day) I go to the Red Cross and give them a pint of my homegrown, all natural, O negative blood. I love the Red Cross. They are amazing. So here are the reasons why you should go in right now and give them your blood:

1. They do awesome things with your blood. Right now they are giving it all to the people in Colorado and Utah that really need it because of the wild fires. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Google “Colorado Fires” and read some freakin’ news once in a while, geez!) One pint of blood (1 pint = 1 donation) can save the lives of up to three people.

2. You get a free mini-physical in the process. They have to check things like your pulse, blood pressure, body temperature, and hemoglobin (iron in your blood), before you can even donate, so voilà – free health care! Take that Obama! (Yeah, I know that doesn’t really make sense.)

3. The Red Cross staff make you feel like a super hero. Seriously, I’m not over-exaggerating at all. They are so nice and accommodating, their hiring process must really squeeze out any potential meanies and awkwards. They practically bend over backward to make sure you’re comfortable and have everything you could ever need or want. I know this has something to do with the fact that they’re literally sucking the life out of you, but still, they are very nice and make you feel like an angel sent from heaven to save the world from bloodlessness.

Or maybe the Red Cross Fairy Godmother? Just go with it.

4. This might just be me, but it’s kind of a rush to have a big needle poked into your arm. Yeah, I know almost no one will feel this way, but still…I like it. I also have to watch the needle go in each time and the person doing the sticking is always surprised that I do. One even said that most men who come in turn away and wince, while women handle the pain like it’s nothing. Part of me wanted to be like “I am woman, hear me roar with my high pain tolerance!” but the other part wanted to retort “Don’t give credit to my gender, I’m just awesome!”

5. The day you give blood, you have an excuse to do absolutely nothing. You don’t really feel that weakened, but it’s enough to make you feel tired and not up for much physical activity after you give away a pint of your body juice. So if somebody asks you to drive them to the airport really early the morning of, you can say “Nope! Sorry, I’m giving blood today and I need to get 7-8 hours of sleep.” If somebody asks you to help them move, you can say “Nope! Sorry, I just gave blood and I’m not supposed to do any heavy lifting today.” If somebody asks if you want to go see Magic Mike that afternoon, you can say “Nope! Sorry, I gave blood today.”

Sorry, Channing. I can’t stomach your beefiness whilst minus one pint of blood.

6. You get free cookies and juice. Seriously, all you want. Even if you cram most of it into your purse. Need I say more?

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

(That is supposed to be the cookie monster and if you didn’t know that go watch some freakin’ Sesame Street once in a while, geez!)

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2 thoughts on “6 reasons why you should let people suck your blood (NOT vampires)

  1. Love the Cookie Monster. Makes me really want to see if the U.S. will let me give blood, but I’m doubtful cuz in France they wouldn’t.

  2. Oh Sarah. 🙂 I am so glad that while I am iron-deficient there is someone else out there to convince people to give blood. The need is constant, the gratification is instant. Hurray!

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